Posts Tagged ‘twenties’

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#Trying to Find What I Enjoy Doing…#Discontent

08/05/2011

By:

Angel Elexa

In an article by Ruchira Agrawal, 6 Ways To Discover Your Authentic Work, she writes about finding your passion and making it work for you.  Ruchira says, “Some of you may be familiar with the term ‘authentic work’, others perhaps reading this for the first time and wondering what it really means. The term ‘authenticity’ according to Wikipedia means – “the degree to which one is true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character”, despite “external forces, pressures, and influences”. And when you apply it to your work, it obviously means engaging in work that is closest to who you are as a person and what you’re naturally gifted and talented in.”

Well, I hadn’t been so blessed to find exactly what that means for me yet. I’m just trying to work and pay the bills now because I’m discontent.  I thought that getting my degree in something that I thought I loved would mean starting at a certain salary level and would allow me to be Young with Money.  I’m not talking about Weezy, Drake and Nikki Minaj money, but still having enough to venture out on my own the first year after school, buy a house, travel and splurge and save all at the same time. You know, do the things that I wanted to in life without always checking the budget first.

 I thought if I did well enough in school, applied myself in my internships, companies would be eager to recruit me at their career fairs.  Interestingly enough, I even thought going back for my MBA would help me achieve status in the corporate arena.  And even at 30 and almost 8 years in the industry, I’m just now making what I should’ve been 8 years ago. Oh, how the Visions of Grandeur have mocked me. 

We’ve all suffered layoffs, manager cruelty and other promotional injustices during our careers and have learned that the job search sucks.  It’s such a numbers game and I can’t seem to figure it out.  So with that being said, what is an authentic job for any of us?  Where we thought selecting a major in college would catapult us to our dream job, many of us have learned that it’s just the opposite.  And it just leaves you wanting more out of life.  The question becomes, how can you link up what you like to do with earning money to support you?  Maybe we should not search for success with a corporation to support someone else’s dream, BUT  venture out on our own and create the opportunities for ourselves. 

They say when the time is right, THINGS just seem to start happening.  Chances are, you were already thinking about pursuing dream.  I hadn’t really gotten the chance to be fully creative and at my job.  The discontentment actually led me to be an entrepreneur, and I have to admit, starting my own business has been gratifying.  It takes my mind off the day-to-day stuff at my 9-5 .  It even makes me wonder about going back to school and meshing the two things I’m passionate about most, Marketing and Interior design.  So in the meantime, until I can make a firm decision, I’ve started dabbling in the homestaging, interior redesign and social media consulting business.  All things I love and I actually get to use my marketing degree to promote my baby.   

My message to you today is that life doesn’t always turn out the way we envision it, but it at least births out something that you never imagined that may be just as good, if not better! 

You may think you’re on the right path, but be flexible enough to venture off YOUR defined path and be led to the one FATE wants you on.  Trust me, HE will give you the most inner desires of your heart that you didn’t even think were possible.   I think Ruchira got it right, “It’s easy to find fulfillment when you pursue an authentic career“.

Read Ruchira’s Full Article HERE.

LIVE Life and Prosper!

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#Trying to Remain Calm….#IHateItWhen

07/20/2011

 
By:
Keysharion “KeKe” Parker
 
 
 
 

I hate it when…you ask someone a legitimate question and they give you an F’d up ass answer.  Thanks for thinking I’m a dumb ass. 

So I visited Philly a few months back with the girls and we were kicking it at a wine spot, a little tipsy, and a lot of dancin’ to a little band that was jamming jazz and some r&b.  The guys in the band were doing their thang and we were having a great night.  Okay…..until, the lead guy comes over to the table and asks if we had any requests.  Nice, right?! 

Well, I politely asked if he could play any Ne-Yo.  Mind you, I had just heard a band in N.O. play Champagne Life in a hole in the wall club a couple of months prior.  I didn’t think my request was far fetched, but damn! The answer I got back was ‘rude as hell’.  I mean I wasn’t trying to belittle what the band was doing by any means, I just thought it would keep the party going. 

For real, don’t look at me like I’m stupid and say “Uh…NO! Why in the hell would we play that?!” Well, in my opinion don’t bring your ass over here and ask if we have any requests. So my non-drunk, crunk answer should have been, “You’re a motherf***in’ band asking for requests, aren’t you?! That’s why you need to play that “ish! You obviously ain’t that big yet to be turning folk down, now are you?”   I think I should’ve gone Evelyn Lozada on him and told him what’s real! Yes, I have anger mgmt issues and I need help.  Fortunately for him, I was lil’ tipsy and I just got quiet and festered until now….LOL

I’m jus’ sayin’, I hate it when people get their jollies off of making other people feel like crap.  You don’t have to TRY to embarrrass anyone to have control over the situation.  Just have some compassion and patience.  Yes, people do ask stupid questions, but Damn don’t you do the same thing, too?   Be helpful because you never know how that could lead to your next blessing.

I mean dude was kinda cute.  If he had played his cards rights, he actually coulda got it  🙂 

I’m jus’ sayin’!…SMH

LIVE Life…and Respect My Gangsta!

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#Trying to Kick it….The End of the Week is #LikeNothingElse…

07/15/2011

Awww Suki Suki!  It’s the Weekend, Baby!  TGIF, For Real!  We made it, y’all!  See how the rest of the weekend is gonna play out for you.

Friday & Saturday- HAPPY

As you can see, we have made it to the end of the week and look at the smile on that face!  Too excited to be free to do what you want to do….even if it is just running errands around town on Saturday.  It’s your time and you can wake up at your leisure….Hopefully!  Songs were made about the weekend.  It’s Friday and I’m ready to swang. Pick up my girls and hit the party scene…Tonight, ohohoh, It’s Alright!-AALIYAH   Make sure to hit up a daytime party for me and get your fly accessories with TryingTwenties.com.

Sunday – WORRIED

Well, look it’s Sunday again.  Where did the last two days go?  Oh no, now you’ve started thinking about all the stuff you have do during the week.  School, Work, the kids, oh my!  How can you enjoy this last moment of your weekend without worrying.  I don’t know if you can. It’s called Sunday Anxiety!  It begins to take over you because you got up early, went to church possibly, cooked your evening meal, maybe even hung out with some friends for brunch.  You’ve had you last bit of weekend fun and you realize it has to come to an end…..And then….you move into the next phase…..

Sunday Evening – RAGE

Oh, No!  It’s time to go to bed.  You are really upset now.  Why is it that we go through this every week?  There has never been a day in my work career that I’ve felt joy about going to the job on Monday.   It requires prayer and meditation to just have enough strength to get out of the bed on Monday and make it in one time….LOL  Don’t trip, I’m glad I have a job, but I’m Mad I gotta go.  Anybody know of a job where I can work from home? Maybe that would ease the tension.

LIVE Life, Have a Great Weekend….And a Happy Monday!

Keysharion “KeKe” Parker

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Trying to have an Identity…

01/28/2011

Who are we? You’ve joined our page. You obviously like us, but who are we and why did we start this business?

Well we are comprised of a group of young ladies that were fed up with our twenties.  Nothing was going right and just when we thought things were looking up, we were quickly let back down.  We’re not bitter about it….LOL  We just have used that energy of grumbling and being frustrated to boost a new dream called Trying Twenties.  Read our company Bio below and get a better idea of who we are and where we fit in your life.  Thanks for being apart of our community.  We love all you TryingTwenties and FlirtyThirty girls. We are you and you are us….And that is Fabulous, Flirty and Fun!

 Recession, mounting debt and deflating salaries all mark the beginning of the 21st century. The strain of the lapsing economy affects all Americans, especially those attending college, starting their first job while navigating the rough waters of life and learning themselves.  All this adds to the pressure of living Fabulously! The Twenties decade of life can be one of the most challenging yet!  However, there is much to be celebrated! These trials and opportunities inspired the creation of TryingTwenties.com.

We understand that you are choosing a major, paying tuition, finishing school, and ready to start life. With life comes rent, car notes and student loan repayment. Your current means of income may not allow for name brand purchases like Gucci or Prada, but TryingTwenties.com offers Fabulous, Flirty and Fun Fashion handbags that will carry you until you can get your Jimmy Choo!

Handbags currently are set at the Recession Chic price of $40 or less. From Fabulous clutches for a night-on-the-town, Flirty handbags for everyday to Fun necklaces and earrings; our store offers something for every Recessionista on a budget!

In any phase of your life (Especially during your Twenties) we urge you to always Try something new! Learn a new language, move to a new city, dance and stay out all night, cut your hair or weave it up, travel and see the world, love passionately, but most of all…Just Be Fabulous! We’re not just a brand, Trying Twenties is an experience!

The Trying Twenties Team wishes you all the best in 2011!

Shop the store at TryingTwenties.com        

Become a Fan at Facebook.com/tryingtwenties

Read the Blog at tryingtwenties.wordpress.com    

Follow us on twitter.com/tryingtwenties

Fabulously Written by Flirty Thirty Elanor Leigh and TryingTwenties.com

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Trying to Understand Dating….

01/07/2011

Especially from these lame ole’ dudes perspective.  In my pursuit to understand how the male mind operates, I recently ran across a site that a cool guy put together to help his fellow counterparts learn the Art of Manliness.  I was so impressed, that I signed up for his daily newsletter.  The information is of course geared toward men, but it did make me realize that there are some things that men should be doing that I, nor my homegirls are getting from the dating scene today.  Men our age have lost the art of courting in the “Get to know you” Phase and it did my heart goood to see this author and his wife put them on blast.  

Now ladies, I’m not saying that we aren’t to blame in some of this, but it is nice to see the male gender take on some of the responsibility.  Maybe, I’ll get the crew together and write an article on how to be more womanly and how to be ready to receive the niceties of our future Gentleman and ScholarEnjoy the article below with some of my commentary mixed in. You know I can’t keep my mouth shut….LOL

 

Stop Hanging Out With Women and Start Dating Them….AMEN TO THAT!

 by Brett and Kate McKay   January 16, 2008 · 213

Over the past few years, many social observers have noted that young adults are dating less. Instead, dating is being replaced by “hanging out” with members of the opposite sex. Dating and hanging out are two completely different things. Hanging out consists of people getting together in groups and doing stuff together. It could be going to a club, a restaurant, or just staying home and playing Wii……So true! and I’m tired of getting movies from the redbox! The atmosphere is relaxed and relations among opposite sexes never rises above the level of friendship. There is nothing wrong with hanging out, but it is not a replacement for dating…..Yes, because I might actually be feeling you, but I don’t want to make the first move and then ruin our friendship.  If you like me stop being lazy and let me know it! And truthfully at this age…I’m not just trying to be your homegirl. I’m Ms. Right and I’m Awesome…..Helloooooo!

Dating consists of pairing off with someone in a temporary commitment so you can get to know the person better and perhaps start a long term relationship with them. Why the decline in dating? There are probably lots of factors that have contributed to the decline of dating amongst young adults….I have a theory that timing and desire plays a big part.  If you don’t catch a dude in his mid twenties when he’s ready to meet someone and have a lasting relationship, then they fall into some weird abyss called the “Social Degenerator” somewhere between 26-32.  If he’s in that phase of life, he doesn’t see the need to date, get to know someone other than his boyz that he drinks and plays X-box with. From 26 on, he just continues to get more set in his ways and then forgets how to have a relationship with any female.

Here are few possible ones:

1. Young adults don’t like to commit. It seems like people in my generation aren’t big on making commitments to people or to organizations. Generation Y is too busy trying to “find themselves” in order to commit to anybody or anything. Companies have complained about the turn over rate of Generation Y. Companies invest lots of money training new employees only to have them leave after two years so they can find a new job. This reluctance to commit has carried over to the interaction between the sexes. Young adults don’t want to be tied down to someone just in case they get an itch to go on a backpacking trip to Europe…..So True!  But the problem lies in the fact that maybe if I want to go backpacking or travel and see the world, I would want a dude to roll with me.  Not that I don’t love my girls, but I’m ready to hang out and get life started with a significant other.  I’m too old  for this non-existant dating scenario…LOL

 

2. The internet has retarded Generation Y’s social skills. Instead of telling a person directly that they’re interested in them by asking them on a date, Generation Y sends Crush alerts on Facebook…..Or they try to go through the “Get to know you” Phase via text message.  So much gets lost in translation this way.  How will you ever get to know me?  While the internet has made connecting with people easier, it has also made us lazier at establishing meaningful relationships. If you’re over 18 and you’re still using Facebook applications to let someone know you’re interested in them, you need to be punched in the face……HAAAAAAAHHHHHH….RIGHT?!!

3. Feminism. Before I receive the wrath of all the feminists telling me it’s a typical man thing to blame women for the decline in dating, I ask that you hear me out. I think feminism is great. It’s great that women can choose to have a career, be a stay-at-home mom, or do both.…Well, I definately want the choice to do either and your support in doing whatever I choose…LOL  But it does make things confusing for men. Navigating relations among the sexes is a bit more tricky today. Men have all these questions go through their head: Who asks?….Uh, you still do! Stop being lame. I want to be approached, persued and courted….Old school, for real! If I ask, will she think I’m too forward?.…NOT at all….Ask me…forwardness shows confidence and I love that! Just don’t be an asshole and arrogant with it. Who pays for the date?Do we split the bill?...Uh, He needs to pay for the bill and I may offer to leave the tip.  Now, if I’m really feeling you, I might pay for us to do something like a concert and I may foot the bill on occasion once we get a few dates in.  But really I shouldn’t have to do that either. That’s just a GOOD Girl Courtesy….IF I”M FEELING YOU!  All these uncertainties cause men to avoid dating altogether and opt for hanging out with women instead.

4. Men today are wussies…..PREACH, BROTHA!  Men today aren’t very resilient. They don’t know how to handle rejection or failure, so they avoid rejection or failure by not asking women out on dates….We understand if the dude is scared, but please grow a pair and get off your ass and ask me out.  I’ve gotten off my butt and tried to holla at a few dudes, but that only back fired in my face and they end up being involved or just plain Crazy….LOL  I would prefer if the guy asks because at least then I know he’s interested. I’m open to get to know anyone, but make it worth my time.

Why date? A lot of men today don’t seem to believe it, but getting hitched to the right woman is a very desirable thing.

So while there is nothing wrong with hanging out, it’s not a replacement for dating. Dating is the pathway to finding your true love and eventually settling down and getting married….Hello, and I definitely want to get married within the next two years!  Marriage is a one on one relationship, so you need to start getting to know women on a one on one basis. You might be hanging out with her and your friends right now, but if you don’t take her on date, she’ll forever be just your friend. So, start dating and stop hanging out. It really is not that hard to get a date with a woman. Here are some guidelines to remember as you take hanging out up a level to dating.

Resurrect Dating

So, you’re ready to start dating and stop hanging out. It really is not that hard to get a date with a woman. Here are some guidelines to remember as you take hanging out up a level to dating.

1. She wants you to ask. Despite the rhetoric you hear about the liberated woman, women still appreciate it when a guy asks her out on a date. They like when men take the initiative. I’ve heard lots of successful young professional women lament the fact that men don’t ask them out. They’re beautiful, smart, and charming, but don’t have a man. Be a man and ask these women out.

2. Asking is easy. Asking a woman out on a date isn’t rocket science. When you ask, though, do it in person or over the phone. If you’re poking a woman you’re interested in on Facebook, you lose any credibility as a man.

3. Keep dates simple. Dates don’t have to be huge, expensive affairs. Keep it simple. If you want to keep things informal, ask her out for lunch or coffee. If you want a more romantic date, invite her over to your place and make dinner for her. She’ll be impressed that you know how to cook. The whole point of dating is to get some one on one interaction with a person to find out if she is someone you’d like to start a long term relationship with. Simple and frequent dates will assist you in this.

4. Prepare for rejection. Face it. Not every woman you ask out is going to say yes. Prepare for that. It’s no big deal if she says no. Think about it. You’re no worse off getting rejected than you were before you asked. You didn’t have a date with her before, you don’t have a date with her now. Your situation has not changed.

5. Just do it, damn it. So what are you waiting for? Quit reading this post right now and pick up your cell phone. Call a woman and ask her on a date. Stop hanging out and start dating. Stop being scared of commitment. Commitment is liberating, not confining. I expect a lot of debate on this post. Please keep the conversation civil. It’s possible to disagree and still be a gentleman or a lady about it.

Well, ladies, what do you think? It’s 2011 and I think we need to get what we want.  Now if it’s not a man, then cool.  Be like that lady who got inceminated and decided to be a single mother on her own. I’ve decided that I’m gonna adopt a 12 year old if I’m still single in my late thirties.  I’m not mad at that!  Do YOU!  However, I think many of us desire companionship and a relationship with a significant other and we just need to get on that level to achieve our goals.  What are you going to do different in the new year to achieve your relationship goals?  By all means, we never say settle just to have….Always be patient to obtain the happiness your deserve. 

LIVE Life, LAUGH About it, LOVE Those who love you back…(no stalkers or crazy dudes, please!)

Angel Elexa

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Trying Not to Lose…

11/19/2010

Okay, seriously, you can literally find anything on the web.  Last night i was feeling a little down on myself and found myself typing into Google search “why am i such a loser?”…..Okay, i know i’m not a loser loser and i need to stop feeling down on myself, but i was actually suprised at the sites that came up.  People going on and on responding to posts from other people feeling less than outstanding.  I was really suprised that perfect and total strangers were this helpful, responsive and downright nice on the web.  They were actually providing supportive and loving advice to a kid in Utah who hadn’t yet discovered himself and all of what life is meant to be.

I, on the other hand, am not a goofy teenager.  I do feel like a goofy 29 year old who can’t get it together.  I’m currently focusing on getting a promotion and moving toward a new adventure in this new role.  I’m actually hoping this takes me out of the office and allows me to work from home.  But for some reason, I’m am such a loser.  I’ve now realized in life that the only thing i’ve ever been good at is school, learning and growing, but applying never came easily because i was always too busy over analyzing everything to move forward.  So i stepped out of my box and have had super supportive team members help me out  and supply me with useful knowledge that i just can’t seem to put into action.  I’ve spoken with clients who are grandmothers, mothers, fathers and your average joe, but I just can’t seem to catch a break. 

It always seems where others are succeeding with ease and things just come naturally to them, I struggle.  I just can’t find my niche and become the success I desire to be.  What’s holding me back?  My confidence, my approach, A curse on my household?  I’ve asked the Lord to help me do the right things and not that those things will be easy, but I just need to know that with making an effort the struggle will be worth it in the long run. 

My friends tell me that i’ve got to keep going, i’ve got to keep pushing, but when do you just stop hurting your own darn feelings and cutting your losses?  You can push for a significant other and end up with a deadbeat who hits on you.  Then you’re in a lousy marriage because you wouldn’t let go of Mr. Raggedy. Maybe sometimes you have to realize that it isn’t for you and you can’t move on to something greater until you let go of what you’ve been thinking you were supposed to do.  I have no clue, except I’m tired of being a loser. 

I envision winning all the time, I envision realistic approaches to acheiving success.  But yet, i keep getting road blocked.  When is enough enough and when will a break through happen? I’m kinda tired of the cliche’ answers of “It will, it’s just not time yet.”, “The right person will come along?”,  “Well you already applied for 120 jobs this week, apply for 120 more :)”….LOL  Gotta love friends, they mean well and they just want to lift your spirits, but truth is, they don’t always know your inner turmoil and the years and years of feeling like you’re not getting anything you want.  Don’t get me wrong, life could be worse, but somewhere down the line, I just envisioned better.

I’m not TRYING to complain, just TRYING to see if anyone else feels like this? Maybe I’m not showing HIM enough effort or desire.  It just makes me wonder why SOME supermodels and actresses are discovered and whisked away to work in Milan or Hollywood, while others aspiring never grace the cover of a magazine and are forced to wait tables.  I know sometimes the journey is great, but I’m just concerned that the discovered people fell into something they didn’t even want, while the aspiring want it so badly they can taste it, but is far from within their grasps.  Is that just a cruel joke or what?  Not everything has to be easy, but Why does it seem like when you put forth the most effort, that’s when the door slams in your face the hardest? 

So with that being said, i’m just going to TRY harder to NOT be such a loser.  i resolve to TRY to listen and learn how to improve while executing diligently.  I refuse to be let down for the sake of my mental state and I will succeed. 

I suggest you do the same.  We are not losers….We are just Trying Twenties.

Like the song goes….All I do is Win, Win, Win, NO matter what!

LIVE Life….and Die Trying…I guess!

Angel Elexa

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Trying to Not be Carried Away….Financially

05/25/2010

Though we are diva fly and independent, it doesn’t hurt to learn a few things from our She-ro’s.  In honor of the upcoming no. 1 chick flick, Sex and the City 2, we wanted to provide a lesson in Fabulocity and Money.  Read below to find out how to be as good as OR better than our counterparts. 

Money Types:  Carrie, Samantha, Miranda or Charlotte?

By MP Dunleavey

Monday, May 24, 2010

Money almost seemed like a fifth character in “Sex and the City”—always hovering in the background. So in honor of “SATC 2”, out this week, we revived the old “which girl are you” game, and added a financial twist.

To play: Read the updated fiscal descriptions of our four heroines. Pick the one you identify with most. 

 Samantha Jones -In business (and in bed), Samantha is a force of nature. She’s aggressive, charming, confident and more than a tad self-absorbed—all of which are integral to her success as a self-made woman. She lives for the moment—and she can afford to, for now.

Samantha – You live for today, and why not? You’ve achieved many of the status symbols you craved—the clothes, the condo, the cachet of being a self-made CEO. Why think about the future when you’re having fun now? Yes, you’ve saved and invested (you’re too smart not to), but strangely, as much as you love to be in control, you’ve left your finances in someone else’s well-paid hands. Is that wise? Not really. You’ve spent years building your business, now take some of that drive and sit down with your advisor to double check that you can take care of yourself.

Charlotte York -Carrie once dubbed Charlotte a “Park Avenue Pollyanna”, but Charlotte’s conservative, sunnyside outlook is her strength. Not a financial or emotional risk-taker, Charlotte seeks security by playing by the rules as a wife and stay-at-home-mom. But is it safe to count on someone else? 

Charlotte – You married for love—and security—and there is nothing wrong with that. A traditional lifestyle works for you; you love being a stay-at-home mom. But it’s time you used those conservative instincts to be a little more self-protective. Buy yourself some free time to put a toe back in the art world. You supported yourself once; make sure you could do it again (if needed). Get involved in the family finances. You’re an excellent domestic partner, now step up to the plate as a full financial partner. After all, you’ve weathered one divorce. You know it doesn’t pay to put your head under the pillow.

Miranda Hobbes -Money doesn’t intimidate ambitious Miranda (it’s her topsy-turvy emotional life that’s a challenge). She was the first to buy an apartment; she wrestled with being a single, working mom. But independence has its limits. 

Miranda – Money has never been an issue for you. You’ve got a top-notch stable income and you’ve always known how to manage your finances (stayed out of debt, saved for retirement, yawn). Now that you’re married and a mom, you might want to expand your independent streak—and give yourself more “me” money. Make sure that you and your spouse are using the same playbook (you’re part of a team now)—for your selves, the kids, your futures. You’re a natural planner, but you need to take others’ needs into account for your plans to come to fruition. And now that you’ve emerged from the turmoil of the last few years, use your money to give more to yourself.

Carrie Bradshaw -Aside from a brief episode of financial clarity (a moment of silence for the $40,000 in shoes), Carrie leads a charmed life of financial oblivion. Blessed with an improbable wardrobe and a Cinderella marriage to Mr. Big, Carrie doesn’t worry about money because she doesn’t have to. Or does she?

Carrie – Maybe you were born under a lucky star, but even luck can ebb and flow. Despite your professional success and happy marriage (so far), you’re stuck in 9th grade when it comes to money. It’s time to grow up and capitalize on your innate good fortune—talent, connections, charm—and accept that no one hold the purse strings but you, babe.

Read personal finance books, take a class, or subscribe to DailyWorth, but start absorbing more financial nutrients now. Taking financial control is the natural next step in your ongoing adventures. You’ll wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.

LIVE Life….But let’s not be broke Divas by the time we’re 30.

Angel Elexa

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