Archive for the ‘Dating & Relationships’ Category

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Trying to Jump The Broom in #Houston

04/26/2011

….Or at least see the movie about people crazy enough in love to do it.  In Jumping the Broom, apparently Uptown meets Downtown when the children of two unsuspecting families, date and decide to marry.  Weddings can always be an adventure and you’ve got to be able to roll with the punches….sometimes, literally.  Depending on who your future in-laws will be, you can either have the wedding of your dreams or of your nightmares.

Join us and Studio Movie Grill in Copperfield, #Houston for a free screening of  Jumping the Broom.  It’s sure to be a great movie, but if not, you saw it for free.  Print out the pass below and bring it with you to admit two….You and your homegirl OR you and your boo!  Maybe he’ll get the hint. 

LIVE Life and Get Outta the House!

Aerika Eshelle

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Trying to Relate…

03/18/2011

Think 500 Days of Summer, but How We Do It! …A video reflecting how we should learn to LOVE Those Who Love us Back….A version for us Black Folk. If you’ve been done dirty and it didn’t play out the way you expected, Check this out!

Keysharion “KeKe”

LOVE Those Who Love You Back…Stop wasting time with these Raggedy people who don’t know your worth!

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Trying to Understand Dating….

01/07/2011

Especially from these lame ole’ dudes perspective.  In my pursuit to understand how the male mind operates, I recently ran across a site that a cool guy put together to help his fellow counterparts learn the Art of Manliness.  I was so impressed, that I signed up for his daily newsletter.  The information is of course geared toward men, but it did make me realize that there are some things that men should be doing that I, nor my homegirls are getting from the dating scene today.  Men our age have lost the art of courting in the “Get to know you” Phase and it did my heart goood to see this author and his wife put them on blast.  

Now ladies, I’m not saying that we aren’t to blame in some of this, but it is nice to see the male gender take on some of the responsibility.  Maybe, I’ll get the crew together and write an article on how to be more womanly and how to be ready to receive the niceties of our future Gentleman and ScholarEnjoy the article below with some of my commentary mixed in. You know I can’t keep my mouth shut….LOL

 

Stop Hanging Out With Women and Start Dating Them….AMEN TO THAT!

 by Brett and Kate McKay   January 16, 2008 · 213

Over the past few years, many social observers have noted that young adults are dating less. Instead, dating is being replaced by “hanging out” with members of the opposite sex. Dating and hanging out are two completely different things. Hanging out consists of people getting together in groups and doing stuff together. It could be going to a club, a restaurant, or just staying home and playing Wii……So true! and I’m tired of getting movies from the redbox! The atmosphere is relaxed and relations among opposite sexes never rises above the level of friendship. There is nothing wrong with hanging out, but it is not a replacement for dating…..Yes, because I might actually be feeling you, but I don’t want to make the first move and then ruin our friendship.  If you like me stop being lazy and let me know it! And truthfully at this age…I’m not just trying to be your homegirl. I’m Ms. Right and I’m Awesome…..Helloooooo!

Dating consists of pairing off with someone in a temporary commitment so you can get to know the person better and perhaps start a long term relationship with them. Why the decline in dating? There are probably lots of factors that have contributed to the decline of dating amongst young adults….I have a theory that timing and desire plays a big part.  If you don’t catch a dude in his mid twenties when he’s ready to meet someone and have a lasting relationship, then they fall into some weird abyss called the “Social Degenerator” somewhere between 26-32.  If he’s in that phase of life, he doesn’t see the need to date, get to know someone other than his boyz that he drinks and plays X-box with. From 26 on, he just continues to get more set in his ways and then forgets how to have a relationship with any female.

Here are few possible ones:

1. Young adults don’t like to commit. It seems like people in my generation aren’t big on making commitments to people or to organizations. Generation Y is too busy trying to “find themselves” in order to commit to anybody or anything. Companies have complained about the turn over rate of Generation Y. Companies invest lots of money training new employees only to have them leave after two years so they can find a new job. This reluctance to commit has carried over to the interaction between the sexes. Young adults don’t want to be tied down to someone just in case they get an itch to go on a backpacking trip to Europe…..So True!  But the problem lies in the fact that maybe if I want to go backpacking or travel and see the world, I would want a dude to roll with me.  Not that I don’t love my girls, but I’m ready to hang out and get life started with a significant other.  I’m too old  for this non-existant dating scenario…LOL

 

2. The internet has retarded Generation Y’s social skills. Instead of telling a person directly that they’re interested in them by asking them on a date, Generation Y sends Crush alerts on Facebook…..Or they try to go through the “Get to know you” Phase via text message.  So much gets lost in translation this way.  How will you ever get to know me?  While the internet has made connecting with people easier, it has also made us lazier at establishing meaningful relationships. If you’re over 18 and you’re still using Facebook applications to let someone know you’re interested in them, you need to be punched in the face……HAAAAAAAHHHHHH….RIGHT?!!

3. Feminism. Before I receive the wrath of all the feminists telling me it’s a typical man thing to blame women for the decline in dating, I ask that you hear me out. I think feminism is great. It’s great that women can choose to have a career, be a stay-at-home mom, or do both.…Well, I definately want the choice to do either and your support in doing whatever I choose…LOL  But it does make things confusing for men. Navigating relations among the sexes is a bit more tricky today. Men have all these questions go through their head: Who asks?….Uh, you still do! Stop being lame. I want to be approached, persued and courted….Old school, for real! If I ask, will she think I’m too forward?.…NOT at all….Ask me…forwardness shows confidence and I love that! Just don’t be an asshole and arrogant with it. Who pays for the date?Do we split the bill?...Uh, He needs to pay for the bill and I may offer to leave the tip.  Now, if I’m really feeling you, I might pay for us to do something like a concert and I may foot the bill on occasion once we get a few dates in.  But really I shouldn’t have to do that either. That’s just a GOOD Girl Courtesy….IF I”M FEELING YOU!  All these uncertainties cause men to avoid dating altogether and opt for hanging out with women instead.

4. Men today are wussies…..PREACH, BROTHA!  Men today aren’t very resilient. They don’t know how to handle rejection or failure, so they avoid rejection or failure by not asking women out on dates….We understand if the dude is scared, but please grow a pair and get off your ass and ask me out.  I’ve gotten off my butt and tried to holla at a few dudes, but that only back fired in my face and they end up being involved or just plain Crazy….LOL  I would prefer if the guy asks because at least then I know he’s interested. I’m open to get to know anyone, but make it worth my time.

Why date? A lot of men today don’t seem to believe it, but getting hitched to the right woman is a very desirable thing.

So while there is nothing wrong with hanging out, it’s not a replacement for dating. Dating is the pathway to finding your true love and eventually settling down and getting married….Hello, and I definitely want to get married within the next two years!  Marriage is a one on one relationship, so you need to start getting to know women on a one on one basis. You might be hanging out with her and your friends right now, but if you don’t take her on date, she’ll forever be just your friend. So, start dating and stop hanging out. It really is not that hard to get a date with a woman. Here are some guidelines to remember as you take hanging out up a level to dating.

Resurrect Dating

So, you’re ready to start dating and stop hanging out. It really is not that hard to get a date with a woman. Here are some guidelines to remember as you take hanging out up a level to dating.

1. She wants you to ask. Despite the rhetoric you hear about the liberated woman, women still appreciate it when a guy asks her out on a date. They like when men take the initiative. I’ve heard lots of successful young professional women lament the fact that men don’t ask them out. They’re beautiful, smart, and charming, but don’t have a man. Be a man and ask these women out.

2. Asking is easy. Asking a woman out on a date isn’t rocket science. When you ask, though, do it in person or over the phone. If you’re poking a woman you’re interested in on Facebook, you lose any credibility as a man.

3. Keep dates simple. Dates don’t have to be huge, expensive affairs. Keep it simple. If you want to keep things informal, ask her out for lunch or coffee. If you want a more romantic date, invite her over to your place and make dinner for her. She’ll be impressed that you know how to cook. The whole point of dating is to get some one on one interaction with a person to find out if she is someone you’d like to start a long term relationship with. Simple and frequent dates will assist you in this.

4. Prepare for rejection. Face it. Not every woman you ask out is going to say yes. Prepare for that. It’s no big deal if she says no. Think about it. You’re no worse off getting rejected than you were before you asked. You didn’t have a date with her before, you don’t have a date with her now. Your situation has not changed.

5. Just do it, damn it. So what are you waiting for? Quit reading this post right now and pick up your cell phone. Call a woman and ask her on a date. Stop hanging out and start dating. Stop being scared of commitment. Commitment is liberating, not confining. I expect a lot of debate on this post. Please keep the conversation civil. It’s possible to disagree and still be a gentleman or a lady about it.

Well, ladies, what do you think? It’s 2011 and I think we need to get what we want.  Now if it’s not a man, then cool.  Be like that lady who got inceminated and decided to be a single mother on her own. I’ve decided that I’m gonna adopt a 12 year old if I’m still single in my late thirties.  I’m not mad at that!  Do YOU!  However, I think many of us desire companionship and a relationship with a significant other and we just need to get on that level to achieve our goals.  What are you going to do different in the new year to achieve your relationship goals?  By all means, we never say settle just to have….Always be patient to obtain the happiness your deserve. 

LIVE Life, LAUGH About it, LOVE Those who love you back…(no stalkers or crazy dudes, please!)

Angel Elexa

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Trying to Heat up the Holidays…

12/17/2010

It’s that time of year again and we want to spend time with those that are dear to us. It doesn’t mean you have to spend all your dough. You’ve probably already spent enough on gifts, but you still want go out and have some fun, too. Check out these low to no cost holiday suggestions for some cost efficient dates with your boo this holiday season. Don’t have a boo? That’s okay, too. Some of these you can do with your homegirls and have just as much fun…LOL

Holiday Date Ideas

1. Looking at Christmas Lights

Taking a stroll to enjoy the lights can evoke warm feelings amongst the two of you and help rekindle the flame. There is wonder and awe in seeing the lights and the glow will make you look awesome!  Make sure to pack your coat, scarves, mittens and cocoa.  (If you’re in Houston, just pack a light jacket and an iced latte)!

2. Holiday Baking

Okay, who doesn’t love baked goods at Christmas.  Get your guy in the kitchen and create some awesome decorated gingerbread men and sugar cookies.  Use cookie cutters in cute holiday shapes. Can’t beat spending time together and heating up yet another area of the house 😉   Want to add a bonus to your date, take a batch to the little old lady down the way.  It’ll make you both feel good!

3. Ice Skating

Now here’s something that most men have tried and maybe have vowed to not try again.  But, with your feminine wilds, you can persuade him to hold your hand and get out there on the ice.  It’s sweet and romantic, think of the movies with those scenes of where boy falls, girl tries to help him up and she falls too.  At least she fell into his arms, right?!  Could be a promising date.  Just don’t get bruised up too bad out there.

4. Decorate a Christmas Tree

Here’s something fun that you can do together and you get to see how well you work together.  Putting the tree up and adding personal touches that remind you of fun times together will help you remember why you like each other.  Is this your first Christmas together?  Then commemorate the event with personalized stockings to hang by the fireplace.  The joy is seeing the completed work of art.  Sit together and look at your tree shine in all it’s Christmas splendor. 

5. Volunteer

Don’t know what to get your boo for Christmas?  How about some days of giving back to those less fortunate.  This will strengthen your bond with him and remind you both how lucky you are to have each other.  Check out your local food banks and clothing donation centers.  Does your boo like to build things?  Here’s one that I like. Try Elves and More if you live in the Houston Area.  You get to build Children’s bikes for local area youth.  You actually put on the handle bars and tires for a deserving child.  This opportunity will definitely help you see one another in a different light and will make you feel good about each other and what you’ve accomplished.

6. Christmas Movie Night

Sit by the fire and watch cheesy holiday movies.  The best ones are on cable networks like Lifetime and ABC Family.  Okay, your boo may not like some of these, but your girls may.  Get some holiday wassle or eggnog and those cookies you made and curl up on the sofa.  Here are some of our favs below that are guy friendly:

■White Christmas
■The Bishop’s Wife or The Preacher’s Wife
■Elf, Die Hard, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
■Peanut’s Christmas or any of those old school animation movies
■A Christmas Story

Tell us what you end up doing!  You gotta enjoy the holiday and there is nothing wrong with being cheap about it.

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